| please work
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first update in a longtime...
Teenageways
Tthe bop
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Ian
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Ian
| One of the biggest seshes i've ever been part of....
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This is a story and i'll tell you now - its not pretty. This story is a few weeks old but i've only now be fit enough to come up with the goods. Now, as with anything I seem to do, I always end up drunk, naked, In trouble, really realy sore/ill or a combination of the lot. The story begins on Saturday 6th of November. I got up early to goto my crappy work. I arrived, logged on to a computer then went for the next 5 hours speaking to idiots on the phone that clearly didnt want me offering them Homecall on a saturday, by the start of the afternoon it was clear to both me and my manager that i did not enjoy my work, i was not wanting to be their and that i dont make a very goodsales man, so bringing me over to the saide he asked me, "Ian, do you like working here?" "No", I replied. "So why do you work here?" he returned. Unable to reply with a sensible answer, we both agreed it was in both of our interests so me to go home and not come back, so packing my bag i left for the beautiful land of Polwars where a ticket to the Scotland - Australia test was waiting for me. Went to the game, highlight being the Scotland team coming out to Highland Cathedral then Flower of Scotland. Seriously, i was all over the place and nearly had to sit down mid-anthem. Game was crap first half but then an inspired second half performance helped scotland regain some pride. Final score, 31-14 to Australia. After that it was home to Polwars again to eat a few sausage sandwiches before the sesh began at the wild west (that Western Gardens in Christorphine to uneducated). Party was pretty crap until finally more people than just me mike and co arrived. Special note goes to John for getting really upset at something and going home early. More fool him, he missed out. By the end of the sesh me and mike were, well.... seshed. So we were given ample space on a fold out bed and the couch respectively. I slept beside the lovely Nicola, who i would like to add, looks just like Princess Leia. When i woke up, i began the sesh immediately, cracking into a bottle of premixed Bicardi Coke, atleast i hope thats what it was. After polishing the most of that off, i found a tin of magners and me and mike hit the road, taking the number 26 bus with the intention of going to McDonalds for some food then home. As stated, i'd just taken a substantial fill ontop of the night heavy drinking. I was again... seshed! A verbal attack on someone I thought I knew in the que at McDonalds later, and me and Mike were ready for the next step. Hungry for more booze, me and Mike decided we would have a quick pint before we went home. It was about 2 o'clock in the afternoon by this time. Going round the corner to Edwards pub on Charlotte Street, we were greeted with a sign above the door saying, "No under 21's". Stupidly we crossed the road onto Rose Street. What a pair of idiots! Standing at the foot of Rose Street, i turned to Mike. I could see in his eyes he was scared but i could see he knew his duty. It was clear what we had to do, and without saying anything to each other, we entered the first pub on our long and ardious treck. The Rose Street Challenge™ had begun. Scotts for the first pint. Then across to Bad Ass for the next pint. I remember this pint being incredibly expensive, now after this my memory gets a little hazy. Im pretty sure we did a wallet check and had to find a bank. So went to a bank then hit filthy McNastys for another and just in time for kick off of the Man utd game. Next pub was the Kennilworth where we met some french guys and they told us loads of french swear words. Did you know that je zoophila mean, i fuck animals? Un fortuately for my mum, she does know because she made the training ground mistake of phoning me at that exact time, but shes subsiquently learned the hard way! Man, this is a long post. Anyway, onward. While sitting in the pub, Irish Dave whose party we had been to the night before walks past, notices us and joins for a pint - Silly Dave. Our team grows to 3. Now i really dunno what happened next, it was startin to get dark by now, be went to a pub, more booze, played pool where i was undefeated. Next pub where we had more booze and 2 plates of scampi and chips between us. Really lost track of the night after that. In wetherspoons, we all swapped a shoe each and so no one had a complete pair. Also, the horrible picture of me holding my ass open on Michaels birthday appeared, not for the first time that day, but it managed to find itself in the hands of an entire rugby team who needless to say were delighted by my anus in all its splendour. Next pub found us speaking to an absolute twat of a bar maid, but the guy standing at the bar, whilst too being fed up with the barmaid was loving the banter and joined our 3 strong team. His name was Aiden Stark. I have no clue who he was and he never knew us, but Starkey or Sparkey, (doesnt matter, we were seshed) as he came to be known was a fine member to the team. More pubs, more booze. By now myself and particularly Mike were seshed. As we struggled on to the end, we completely offended an entire resturant of happy people eating their dinners, dunno why, but we could see their distain for a bunch of drunks leaning against the window spitting, shouting abbusive comments and holding a picture of my open ass against the window. Went to another pub, dont remember it really, got speakin to some guy behind the bar who had been to Thurso surfing. Next pub we met a load of rich fat yanks who bought us drinks, let us smoke their big fat cigars and loved our drunken and probably very slurred banter. After we left that im told we made it to the next and last pub on our incredible journey where shortly after ordering 4 pints, we were asked to leave for clearly being too drunk. I remember being in the taxi to Cav and i dont mind fuck all after that. I woke up in Mikes bed at about 5 in the morning. When i went to my bed Irish Dave was in it sleeping in the biggest kink ever so i climbed on the floor and that was it. What a sesh. Rumour has it Mike got thrown out of Cav, i apparently left having decided i couldnt go on. Dave finished the night in style and dunno what happened to Starkey. I like to think he went on to better things but we will never forget him! Oh no. If you though that was bad, Rev the next night, ended up in PennyBlacks, but thats a whole different story. Cheers folks.
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CoWIE
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| poops and pees
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How are we all? Just got my ass up to uni for like the first time this year, bit shit really but nevermind. Got myself a weee job, doing telesales. Its not bad but i can see myself getting tired of it really fast. Is there any scandal in Wick? thats the question. POLWARS site has still not begun yet. We are lacking vital equipment such as a computer that works and a digital camera for some shocking pictures. On to the reason for my post. I have drunk many drinks and sampled many floors because of the many drinks and i have found a drink that is well, just unexplainable. Its the most ridiculous mixture that has ever been bottled and the labble says it all. SCOTSMAC! better than buckie! There you have it, go out and buy it. Whiskey and fortified wine mixed in one 70cl bottle and priced at a very competitive £2.49! Tastes no bad either. Cya x
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CoWIE
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| I Need Direction to Perfection...
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So thats it then folks. Another year draws to close since we finished high school. Its been an eventful year, i have woken up many many times, struggling to remember my name, nevermind where i am or what happened the night before. I have met some wonderful new people, such as Gus and i have grown apart from others, less said the better :-P I have seen Muse and Iron Maiden live in concert and i have performed as part of the Mitchell Expierence :-P live in concert. I think most alarming for me i have done nothing since christmas yet i find myself contemplating second year of university at the first attempt :-) As for this summer, well its been a mixed bag. What can i say, the highs the lows, its had it all. Polish Pete was winner of the much convitted annoying but infectiously entertaining foreigner. Both myself and john voted and no other foreigner received any votes so he wins hands down :-P I have suffered my first really black eye, which was in effect a black forehead, cracked eye socket, black nose bridge black other eye and fat eye brow. not really a pleasurable expierence but one you'll admit every drunken man expects from time to time :-P i have developed a passion for the garnier fructus hair styling products which im sure you have seen the ads for? And what about Pulteneytown clinching victory in the town derby? Disapointments for this year were the float. What went wrong lads? what went wrong :-( No other real disapoints to be honest other than that disatrous birthday night out. So tomorrow i leave for the big city again. Start of another year, gotta get a job, got a proper house. Maybe some love? Maybe i've found it already? i dont know, well just have to see in the months to come :-) I think this is prob my last whole summer in wick too :-( Other news i have for you. i have lost a load of Mitchel Experience band photos but hopefully they will be located soon and put up for all to see. Is everyone well? i forgot to ask, how rude, im sorry. I think i will you with Jimmy Bremner, my grandad toasting to good health and all that shite. He is the high master, the best, the head cheese, the man. I've heard it be said before... "if i can even be half as good as him ill be a success" :-P arf
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Sore right bum cheek CoWIE
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| Bedlam Paintball, Fun for all!
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So, there i was on Sunday morning at 7.30 in Andrew Frames Queen Margrets Flat, Mike and Duncan were nurchuring 2 very heafty hang-overs and i was totally Knackered. I got on the bus back into Princes street where i began searching for a way to get to the paintballing. By now it was nearly 9 o'clock and i had no transport nor did we have a full team or a clue how to get there! Unsuccessful, i returned to 123/11 to sort out these dilemas. My first move was to wake up Ed, because hes the man with the transport! He wasnt sure if paintballing was for him but he would give us a lift there. I made some phone calls, Myself, grant, doug and Matt were definates and on asking Grant, Roddy was a definate too. This was a good base from whch to work from as this used up5 of the ten tickets. Once Ed woke up fully we started into him that he would love and eventually he caved in. With Ed in the team we looked no further than "Magic Pete", the man, the myth, the legend! My last run in with Pete had been a pleasuable one and so i was very keen in securing him for the days activities! Incidently the run in with Pete had been so enjoyable because he got absolutaley seshed, fell asleep in my living room and Gus and myself filled his ears with Branson Pickle. Then Success, "magic" was in! Also joining the squad was Rob from Grant and Dougs course and he was also a fine addition to the group. Our final team consisted of 8 men, 2 short of our 10 man target but still, i feel, the strongest possible team we could of feilded at such short notice. The next hurdle to over come was being there on time. We had to be there for half 12 and Ed was to make 2 trips to take us all. Group 1 didn't leave until 5 past 12, cutting it fine to say the least. Call in Gemma Garrock of flat 10 fame (pictured below in a previous article). She took me and Dougs and we arrived only 10 minutes behind time. Ed then showed up with magic Pete and the dream was being lived! After a few insurance forms we picked up our gear and were put into teams. Suited and booted we went to our team huts. In the Pink team were Magic Pete, Ed, Matt, myself and 4 other guys from Coatbridge. The yellow team had Doug, Grant Rob and Roddy and also some Coatbridge chaps. The fun began!
Game 1: Capture the flag
This game was your basic attack and defend game, unlimated life for the first 3 minute so as to break us in, then for the final 2 minutes, only one life. The yellow team struck first making good progress down the left and right flanks, but after the 1 life time began they seemed to retreat and a stalemate ensued. The game ended in a draw with both teams receiving 10 points
Game 2: Defend the Base
For this game the Pink team defended and the yellows attacked. I think i spend more time wiping paint from my googles than anything else but i managed a barrage of shots on one person who proceeded to cheat profusely much to my dismay. However, we continued to defend well and nearing the end of the game i registered i was out of ammo. Raising my hand high into the air, clearly showing i was out of the game, i ran behind my base to leave the battle feild, as i turned and ran, i felt some what like forrest gump, being shot square in the arse cheek, nearly making me fall on my face. I gave out a shout to the tone of, "you fucking cunt" and promply left the feild. Much to my disgust, the perpetraitor of this terrible war crime was none other than Grant Smilie! Successful defence of the tower, 10 points to the pinks. We took the lead.
Game 3: Bomb the village
Yellows defending their town, the pinks had to infiltrate it and place a bomb into the centre. The bomb was inactual fact a jerry can but for the purposes of the game, acted nicely as a C4 timed detination :-P As team captain i volinteered to carry it first. I attacked down the right hand flank. We made good progress and held our ground. We managed to remove most of the coatbridge folk from there team and so it was Napier lads left. I spotted grant and proceeded to shoot him in the ass several time.... over and over again :-P I advanced further down the feild until i realised that i had absolutaly no support and i was fucked. i went out on a suicide mission and that was indeed what it was. i was out of the game and the C4 was lost inaction. Successful defence of the town, 10 points to the yellows. Scores leveled
Game 4: Defend the Base
For this one the smoke grenades came out and we attacked and attacked but to no avail, the defence was just too strong. It was a white wash by the Yellows and they took another 10 easy points, the lead was theirs. 30-20
Game 5: Bomb the village
For the final game we had to defend the yellows attack this time round and so we toomk up our posisitons, knowing that defeat was the end, we had to go for a succesful defence to draw the game because only they could win now. The yellows though came out all attack with guns blazing cinfident from their previous white wash. we defend but the pink team just never seemed to bond as team unlike the yellows and again we found ourselves in 3 on 1 gun fights with pink players having no chance. The yellows got into our base and planted ther bomb, full points to them ending in the white losing 50-20.
Never the less, it was all smiles back at camp as we all posed for a group photo which will be coming soon. Afterwards it was a trip to Macdonalds, a small rest and a night out at Cav. A great day was had by all!
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Sore left bum cheek CoWIE
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| all nighter
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Hello everyone, hows it going? Im sitting here in the JKCC (thats the computer barn to the common man), with Duncan Sangster to my left, and no one to my right.... Duncan is playing some strip poker game with boobs the lot, and whats more. Its my user name! I fear my uni career is again in jeopardy :-( Rumours that i will be making a free transfer to Polwarth have been curculated, although they remain unconfirmed with other teams showing interest, although an insider, who shall remain anonymous (myself-Ian Cowie) told me, that i was very interested.... lost? i am :-( I have a tiny penis, i found this out when i had a one night stand with some stinker and it just struck me, "my penis is just not adequete", however she seemed to enjoy herself ;-) what else can i bore you with? mmmmmmmmmmm, nothing? well fuck you then. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee B============D-------
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CoWIE
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| ding-a-ling
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how we all doing? Not done a post in quite some time now so i thought i should. I haven't been attending university at all since christmas nearly and the outlook is bleak. Dunno what my plans are, think i might just get a job and be done with it :-( alot less hassle. Im not really in a post writing mood so im gonna go now, seeyas x
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B====D----
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| bleeeeeee
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Alright ya' bunch of cunts. I have actually come to uni done some work and now im finished, its strange, it all happened so quickly :-( I have given up looking for a wife, i have now decided i might start saving money because the over draft wont pay itself you know!big shout out to.......... who will i shout out to? how about Gillian Donn, poor girl cant leave messages because of those god dammed BT bureaucrats, but she assures me shes an avid reader. Maybe even James mill, Ben - the man of hair and possibly even Markie the dad. Think ill go to the student union now, get some breakfast. o0o, i need a picture, wait to see what i can come with.........
There you go, check out rillings! hes some man! bo bo ya de de deeeee, im sooo bored of everything that i do, i need some neeeeeeewww challenges, maybe. Someone just foned me from o2, they say, "have a free fone and some of our money", i think there gonna rip me off. gah, right sorry, im off, bye. x
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bleeeeeeee
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| when eating vegetables, be careful of the wheelchair
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Alright chaps, im bored. just stting here in the computer barn, doing some major revision. Getting stuck in for once cause i have some test tomoro. Im resigning myself to failure but i gotta waste some time revising to atleast get some form of self-glorifaction. The photo here is just an example of the joy that i spread. I think its good to give something back to the community, and here you can clearly see that i have made Gemma so happy with my joy, she feels compelled to lick my face.... I haven't been on the razz since thursday night which i believe to be a new uni record for me. Hoping to last atleast until tomorrow night but i might just go home and get wankered, you never can tell. Its alot easier now that Gus is gone, because i dont feel i have anyone to compete against fairly, so im just saving myself for a special night. Trying to get a job but i might go home for easter and neglect a job, just not sure at this early stage. My leg is still in agony so i might be forced to miss some more uni for no reason. Its a pain in the tits... well pain in the leg really, cause i wanna go to the gym and play rugby and chase little kids and stuff but i cant! its just not fair :-( I think i will now get back to my revision of binary and 2's compliment and also the fetch-execute cycle pish. Its good though, takes me back to my Bertie Hughson days! "Ok?" byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xx
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bleeeeeeee
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| Tell me a story Cowie....
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I shall tell you a story! The time is half past 8, its saturday morning and im sitting in University for the first time in 3 weeks, which isn't pleasing me at all but i was lying in good old 123/11 when it struck me, im not actually going to fall asleep this side of Christmas and that no amount of lying there was gonna make me. The reason for this is Subway on Thursday night and also yesterday afternoon i was playing rugby at the meadows when some cunt, namely Matthew Hislop, broke my leg. Its all swollen and fat and it was too sore to lie on :-( But he'll get his comeupance let me tell you! Another thing while im being angry! What sick cunt is voting for length!? I want names! I want address! I'll be sending the goons around! Its just not on! Its my website, what i say goes! Its not my fault my penis is short and fat and if i want a pole to try and make me feel a little bit better about my situation then thats what ill have, i dont need some idiot come here and ruin it for me!Anyway, where was i? Ah yes, Matthew "oh look at me, im from the country, o0o-arr" Hislop!
Anyway, kind of getting away from the good bit, Subways match report! It was a cracker, with Subway again picking up the full points! The night was slow to start, myself and Ed didn't leave for the off-license until nearly 10. We went to Thresher because on a previous scouting mission earlier that day, i had noting that the Spar had run out of the appley goodness that is "GLACIER EXTRA STRONG CIDER", so instead both myself and Ed were reduced to drinking "FROSTY JACKS", which tastes like pish. Whats worse was we forgot to buy blackcurrent juice. I stewed over my first pint, myself and Ed were paying more attention to our mockery of Deep Blue Sea as a film, 'tis indeed utter poops! It was pushing nearly 11 by this point and i was still on my first pint, i feared the night was going to fizzle out into nothing, so i picked up the pace a little. Few more pints abit more mockery - I was now in the correct frame of mind! When chris, Jo and Gemma came back it imerged that gemma and Jo were BobbyDazzler virgins! Shocked and apaulled, a shady picture of what the night was about to become was being painted. I had the fear! when we did actually get into Subway, Chris got me my first Bobby. Went down a treat. Then Duncan bought me one! then i did the stupidest thing ever! I went to the auto-teller in subway, took out another £20 of my dwindling money supply im supposed to call an account, whats worse though is i got a £1.75 service charge for using the dam thing! Then everything went tits up, i bought myself another bobby and gemma and jo one. I know i took 2 more bobbies after that! Then Gemma who had only had 2 Bobbies tried to claim that it wasn't that bad, so at great risk to myself, her and with the possible consiquences probably the whole night club i bought us SirBobby! Then fuck knows what the hell happened. I remember running to the toilet with the pretence of playing my boak card but instead standing tall and keeping the card close to my chest. My next memory is of walking up Lothian Road with Jo. I know she was crying about something but no amount of me trying to be the man was making it stop. My next memory is of being in flat 14, from which stole 1 tin of heinz 'BigSoup' and 1 bottle of Vicks cough mixture. Delighted with my steal my next and final memory of the night, which by this point was 8 0'clock in the morning was waking up in the living room of flat 10 on the chairs. I then took my can of soup and cough medicine through to flat 11, where i decided that Gus would be the reciptient of the nights swag. I then went to bed. I tore myself from my bed at around 2 o'clock, by now sobered up i went in search of the answers! I went through to the kitchen and what should i see? Gus - sitting down to a nice plate of soup :-) Turns out the night was a success, there were no major hick-ups other than the mass spending but when i did a change count i had £5 so that brought a smile to my face. Prob better go home for some sleep now. Gotta be fresh for Scotland hammering England later today. im sooooooooooooooooo hungry too, think ill go to Greggs for some fresh sausage rolls! Seeya laterzzzzzzzz
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DING-DONG CoWIE
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| poops
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alright, how do? Thickness is winning, thats good. Been going out alot lately, thought i was going cool down but then adrian shows up and its all gone tits up! i haven't been to uni in ages, really must start. Also my overdraft seems to have grown and so i fear a mass of spending is on the horizon. Adrian is sitting beside me right now using my login profile, i suspect he will abuse it, look at smut and such, and get my entire operation closed down. Im fed up of being lonely too, i have decided to start wife hunting! So far to no avail :-( want a job aswell but all i recieve is a kick in the chuggies. i fear life is on a downward trajectory. Enough of my self-pity, im going to Cav tonight to get m0nged. Oh yeah, Adrians penis, now "lives" out, its gastley! However, what happens in Polworth, stays in Polworth! xxx
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dispressed CoWIE
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| More truth delivered!
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As testiment to the man I know as Gus, and also because I told him I would when I was drunk, and I am a man of my word, so I am about to deliver the truth about Gus! A quiet chap by day, but by night he turns into a drunken, coat theiving, weird dancing, floor shitting on son of a gun and for this I salute! Standing at about 5'10", the first time I meet him, I thought he looked alot older than 21, but infact he not a day over 19. This is tribute to him being an alcoholic. I have much to thank Gus for. Firstly, knowing that binge drinking is not a hobby, its a way of life. Secondly, much banter on a night out. I know i have more stuff to thank him for but i cant think right now. Really, i had this all planned out when i was seshed but then i kept drinking and now its all gone :-( Gus did also shit on my floor and re-hole my wall, but that i suppose is part and parcel with a good night out. Yes, i am saying that if you have a good night out, your allowed to let yourself go a little on your flat mates floor..... I sum up by saying that Gus is a legend. On a par with Colin Sangster and Chimmy Chew! Hes that dam good! xxxxxxxx
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I had a love afair with a donkey
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| My day so far
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I woke up to Ed asking me if he could borrow my milk. Firstly, I do not own such a product, secondly, why you wake someone over the theft of 25mls of milk for a cup of tea is beyond me so I sent him packing! Back to sleep. Then I woke again at 12. I decided that enough was enough and removed myself from my plastic incompitance mattress. After a shower and some breakfast, little bit of TV, I thought to myself, "I live with 4 others". I went hunting but could find no trace of my flatmates. Shocked and disgusted, I could think of no better thing to do than to walk up to uni and so here I am. On my travels I passed a school full of ickle children, at first I was happy, reasons for this will remain undisclosed, but after a walk of half a mile and having to remove myself from the pavement for the mass hoards of the little bastards, my smile tunred to a frown. As I walked past bar twelve, I started hearing a ringing noise. As i got closer to the merchiston campus, it became clear that the fire alarm was ringing. I stood for a little while. Then some more. Then a little bit more standing. At around about this stage my stand turned more to a dance and I could bare it no more as I feared the worse - a previous nights Guiness drinking was back to haunt me. I ran like buggery to bar twelve, burst through the door and into the gents toilet. Like the bit in trainspotting, i dreamed of the perfect convenience - pristeen marble floor, a magnificent white bowl made of finest bone china, a toilet seat carved from ivory, a sistern filled with channel number 5 and a man sitting beside it, handing me pieces of silk toilet paper, however, under the circUmstances, I would settle for anything. Whilst sitting in the relatively pieceful, but slightly cramped cubicle, I noticed the standard, "toilet blurb", left for me by the last man in my prediciment, to help wind away the hours. At first I was planning to add to it, but unfortunately I couldn't find a writing implement of any sort. However, the comment on the wall were somewhat boring and didn't hold my interest long as they were about Bush, Blair and Hussain being bastards, and so I have decided to have a voting pole to see what really matters. Length or thickness, because I know everyone wants to know the truth of the matter! Other news........ well there is none, so happy voting and well close the pole when I can be assed. Cheerio :-)
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My real name is Ian
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| we haven't seen the helmet yet....
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Touch my bad self! Alright you lot, i thought i should do an update just to keep you all happy. Not got much to say really, was just home in wick again. There was alot of driving, there was alot of snow, the 2 combined sometimes and was lots fun. Went out last night, Bobby on show aswell. yawn, i cant be assed today. Cyas x |
CoWIE
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| bah
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Well chap and chapettes, just sitting in the computer barn here, meant to be revising for an exam tomorrow but i just cant motivate myself to do it. Not much banter to tell you from here other than last night, my house got fucked, it stinks of egg now and there is a huge burn mark where someone put the carpet on fire and there are multiple egg shells stamped into the floor. Buckfast was the order of the night, i had myself a bottle of the shite, nearly gave me the boak but i got through spewless! Im coming back home sometime next week then ill also be there for Jennifers birthday party! who0o0pa! Should probably give you the low-down on the whole of Christmas but i really cant be fucked, its all abit of a haze. You were all there, you all know the score. Wasted Ticket night out was a cracker though! |
CoWIE
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| bleee
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bored. im home on Wednesday the 17th :-) cant wait! In time for the prom no less! Arf! |
CoWIE
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| HAPPY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!
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well i guess its that time of year again when i have to pull on my santa suit and wish you all a very happy christmas, cant believe i have only posted about 10 times in a year :-( Having said that its been a huge year, loads of stuff gone on in my life and i dont think i would change much of it at all. Thankyou to everyone who has been present and i hope 2004 will be as fun! Cheers! With that out the way i just have one thing to say and that is, i will be home in the middle of next week and i expect anyone with any table 3 connections to join me in mass consumption of BobbyDazzler™!!!!! W0ooooooooo00o0o0oo0o0oo0oOOO!!! |
CoWIE Clause
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| big man meets big city
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Well here goes match report for the 2 nights Scollay and myself spent on the drams in Edinburgh. Around 1530 on the thursday, i met scollay at the bus stop. We walked about discussed our options for the evening, decided Subway was the one for us. It then emerged he had not taken any photographic ID... Come to the aid, Graeme Falconer. We nicked his driving license! For tea on that fine day, i opened my SnapFax and the answer was given. Student Feast £19.99! Sold! we took ourselve along to pizza hut at fountainpark where we were greeted by the rather lovely waitress, she showd us to our table. the was uncertainty in the pizza hut ranks as to whether they could give us such a deal, but much to our delights, yes! we had 2 medium pizzas, a plate of tatty skins, garlic breads, breaded mushrooms, not to mention 4 bottles of castlemaine XXXX and the standard bottomless Pepsis! Cant remember why but it emerged that variety is the spice of life, when Graeme said this to the waitress see left in disgust. Dismayed and in a state of self-disgust he hung his head, however i found the strenght to laugh profusely! Roll on subway, many free drinks tokens, cant remeber the rest, i was seshed. Next night saw Gus return from injury and the three of us taking a trip down the Cowgate and grassmarket having been denied Potterrow. Our first port of call was three sisters. I walked in looked about abit, had a drink bought for me, looked down, and there it was. Like a beakon from the gods! £20! i picked it up, i slapped it down on the bar. At the top of my voice i call out, "Bring me the shooters list!" The room quietens down, the silence is deafening. Amazed the crowd looks on as the trembling bar maid sets the 10 shooters infront of us, then runs to the back room crying. I call a toast to fallen comrades and down the first. A sigh of disbelief echos through the pub. The 3 of us proceed to down the rest of the shooters, then as the last glass slams back down to the bar, the deafening silence turns to a deafening roar and the pub errupts! The manager thanks us, we sign afew autographs and then armed with our free t-shirt and free matchs we saunter down the road to another pub. It was shit so we came back up the road to the grassmarket. In there we had an arguement with some yanks about the past-tense of bode, no conculsion was reached so we proceed to Bottoms Up..... I will leave details of there to a bare minimum if you will excuse the pun. After that it was round the corner to Edinburgher for the standard drunk man kebab, where some rather rowdy behavior ended in Gus being searched for drugs by the police, a poor show by lothian and borders police. Gus was gutted, we were delighted. The rest as they say is history! Scollay then went to Gordy MacDonalds, i saw him in Potterrow on the saturday night but i was really fucked and we also tried to get him into Sunday night Cavendish but he had no student card so was denied. |
CoWIE
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| The BobbyDazzler™
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well fuck me! its been a mental few weeks, we have had all the boys down, the invention of 'SirBobby™', 'CharlyBlinder™' to mention but a few, a trip to the strip joint and amongst others, neglecting to attend uni for over 2 weeks, i have now aided this flaw in my steamless plan that is life by coming in today, it was shite though. Anyway... 'SirBobby™', the name on everyones lips! Some may say this is the most dangerous drink to hit the scene since the great Bobby Dazzler, the fore-runner, burst onto the life of the common drinking man, stamping its closest rival, the tastey 'mintflip' to the ground. If you will, i would like to give you all a breif history of 'Bobby™' and how he has come to spawn such beasts as the 'SirBobby™' and the 'CharlyBlinder™'. It all started one fateful friday night out in Thurso for myself. Myself and my superviser from work, a one, 'Darren Sutherland' were looking for a challenge and having been told of a 'McMexico' decided that was the bitcher of the night, but i pulled a fly one. Buying him a 'McMexico' - whiskey and tequila and myself a tequila. It went unnoticed until the following Monday at work when we discussed the fantatsic nights goings on. Gutted by my performance, he looked for a revenge so hurtful i would never try such a foolish and petty act again. The following friday we were in the Viking Bowl, on the way there the taxi driver had coined a phrase that pleased me and Markie, saying that his old VW beetle was a Bobby Dazzler! Darren purchased the McMexicos and asked me to choose a blind runner, something to throw in and mix it all up, something that would ten minutes later send us both into a wild whip 30 minutes into the night! I chose Red AfterShock and the 'The BobbyDazzler™' was born! The drink remained an unproven entity in the drinking world until i took bobby to the big city during the so called 'week of hell!' 5 men, 1 night club, 1 drink! The men, Graeme Falconer, Duncan Sangster, Mike Gunn, John McCarthy and myself - Ian Cowie. The night club, Subway and the drink, none other than. Doing what i had set out to do, the boys had sampled and were pleased than there was now no other drink! It had smashed all opponent from sight and a legend was truelly born. It went unchallenged for nigh on a year as the foremost in bitchers, with such stories as myself and the night of nine! Danny and his pint of bobby, Adam gettin so drunk he thought he was in the war, and quoting, "leave me, go back for the others!" and the time john bought me five full size bobbys the night before i was to drive 400 miles!It was almost a year to the date that we had got to the stage where Bobby was coming across as rather tame. It was ashame to see this great legend in such a slum at what should of been the highest point of his 'dazzling' career, but we decided to look further afield and we could see only one alternative. In the same manner as bobby was born, it was clear this was the only way! One nasty nasty night for drink, bobby dazzler was to recieve a blind runner! I chose vodka, Duncan chose apple sidekick, Michael chose Baileys and Graeme chose, wait for it.... Bobby Dazzler! Double Bobby Dazzler, such a bridge had never been crossed, this was truelly The Matthews Bridge! I thought i had seen it all until a week last saturday when Bobby bit back! fuck me, i had a dose of them and as Duncan, John and Gus can verify, i ripped my house to shit! booting a meeger size 13 hole in my wall and attacking a poor defenceless english man. When i woke up the following Sunday, i surveyed the damage and shit myself, but i also sighed a sigh of relief and took comfort in knowing, my mate Bobby was back :-) |
CoWIE
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| Vouchers reign supreme again!
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Well now! my house mate gus and myself decided that on the success of thusdays voucher fest at subway, we would attack some magazines in search of yet more vouchers, and by jove we did! We got about 6 more subway vouchers for free rounds and about 16 double vodka redbull vouchers for rev. So, we dressed ourselves and headed early to subway for a quiet drink. The very idea of that goes against every bone in my body! Going to a night club as though it were a pub. We arrived there at about 9, took our drink and enjoyed some pleasing banter with our fellow patrons. By the time we left we were pretty seshed, a lesser man would of headed home, however we are not the affore mentioned type of man and ventured next door armed with yet more voucher, 16 to be exact :-/ Now im not usually a fan of taurine based drinks in my vodka but it was free so i tried to embrace it, however, when the guy poured us our first on he put bearly 25mls of redbull in, it was the strongest bastarding drink ever, lined with the mingin taste of energy drink, so i drank it :-( Mores the pitty, i used another voucher. Confusion reigned this morning when i questioned my actions! the second on was alot better though, lots of red bull! By now i was pretty wanged. i wandered about abit, spoke to randoms, got bored so became bar bound, off i trot! i used all of my vouchers! 8 double vodka redbulls is enough of any man! Then i stumbled over Jamie Poulton, David Mowatt and some old guy from wick! My hand was plyed with yet another drink, so off i trot. Caught up with Angus, little bit of dancing, some tom-foolery, the usual. Then, bloody Cameron from big brother appears in the DJ booth and starts speakin to the crowd. Now im not a nasty person but Angus says we were shouting some pretty nasty abuse to him, why i dont know but it must of been fun :-P We left and headed home up Lothian Road. I screw a bus sign off a post and walked up the road, however, Angus would not lie down and accept defeat and so stole a wheelbarrow full of mud and rubble. I had to hand it to him, it was truelly an excellent bit of furniture for our house, except one small thing..... it was full of shit, so i proceeded to tip the shit out on the pavement, just then a white car screeches up beside me! I bolted, got about 10 metres then realised i was fucked :-( so i came back and boar the brunt of the cunt-stubles wrath! Luckily the hadn't noticed the obscure pile of dirt in the middle of the pavement much to our delight! Angus took the wheelbarrow back and we went home via the kebab shop still armed with my bus sign. Last night was a extremely educational night. Firstly, i know that dont like vodka redbull! Also redbull is an energy drink and too much of it makes you hyper! Rev is shit too! This has gone on way too long, kinda getting bored now, anyway, the night was a success, totally pissed for next to nothing! Good show! |
Hungover and tired Cowie
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| Updates
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hey guys, fixed my message board, had to put up a new one. Tell a friend and come start posting again :-) xxx |
Cowie
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| delighted!
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Jesus fuck! went to Subway with a dose of vouchers last night, had the whole night for free and got totally rat arsed, bobby made an appearence with all members of flat 11 taking one for the team. The night was fuelled with passion and then ended in a bust open head, a bust mouth and a rather spewy will. As per usual, Subway never fails to pick up full points for a top night out! It also gets the most cuvitted ian cowie two thumbs up! :-) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
Cowie
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| Wanted! 1 new liver!
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Wo00oo0oopa!! hey guys, im the napier king nowadays, its exciting! im doing myself proud having already missed my first ever lecture, i just missed another! 1 out of 3 is a no bad average when considering my history :-P All my flat mates are right enough, cant complain. I have run out of money aswell, been seshed every night for the lastweek now, kinda startin to hurt actually. Tried introducing everyone to bobby dazzlers, but i couldn't get a hold of aftershock, so then it was McMexicos, followed by McMexicos with baileys then they just started getting stupid! Im going to see the Pixies man frank black tonight with mike, his brother pulled out so i stepped in to carry the big man mike forth, i hope it goes well. Im kinda gettin bored now........ seeya! xxx |
Cowie
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| Wasted Ticket Rock :-)
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I hath returned! Well much has happened in the last 4/5 months since i last turned my attentions to this thing. I left BT in a blaze of glory, i was to be a supervisor of the new and im proved Carters bar Wick! Shortly after this i was promoted to the postition of Assistant Manager, however on the 8th of August, just 5 days after my 19th birthday, my reign of fire was cut short and i was paid off. I wont get into details over why and where for etc but i am led to believe that it was my over ability to do my job that made everyone else look bad and so, i got the axe. Its a tough call, but when your as good as me, you just gotta take the rough with the smooth - Unfortuately, it all seems to be rough here. I took the weekend to compose myself.... Then i did what any non-self-respecting citizen of this country who has no job would do. I signed on at my local brew! Its a lovely setup, £43.25 for doing sweet fuck all :-) However, my second reign of fire has now ended and today i was given a job for 3 and a half weeks working the lines at Pat Grants Norfrost, wage of bout £300 a week, working every day of the week but saturday. Its gonna be tough but 0o0o0o the riches... Im savoring the prospect! No other crack... My new cars fucked and so im carless. Also i've developed quite the taste for gettin seshed! Life is good again :-) Cheerio y'all! xxxxxxx |
The Boy who Cried Wolf
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| Wasted Ticket Rock :-)
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Well boys and girls, i am bored at work, thought i would update the old site a little. I have a nice digital camera to my name and so look out for some new exciting pictures, but thats not all, this digi-cam records videos! o0o0o the possiblities! There will be videos coming soon!! My freshers week at uni starts on Sept 22nd so no doubt ill be leaving wick around friday 19th of Septemeber, it wont be a sad, no no, far from it. I prey I fall asleep tonight and wake up on that day, nice plan but its never gonna happen :-( What else can i bore you with? oh yeah, went to edinburgh, got drunk, spent my money. In our drunken hours we neglected to take good photos and took utter shite instead, a poor choice i fear :-( gutting! Adam got a good upskirt shot of some fit burd but thats bout it really. My Pub is gonna open soon too, im gettin pretty excited! Pole Dancing and Bobby Dazzlers.. The Winning Combination! ;-) |
The Boy who Cried Wolf
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| spaz-a-fraz-a-laz
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blah de blah! long time no speak chavy. Some thick tongue tinkler broke into my car! im gutted! funny thing is he must of been shit at breakin into cars cause he couldn't get my stereo out the twat so its all still there and i got it working and they only thing really harmed is mine and the poor cars pride, aswell as my bank balance.... So if i dont have money, does it make it ok for me to steel from people who work for there posessions? Hmmmmmm, strange way of thinking there breeds have, nevermind. Got a new, slightly older, but much much louder Golf, its win! :-) |
Well Hung Donkey Boy Ian, Master of the Universe!
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| bo0op
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well spurt on me. Just sitting here, pretty bored. I'm about to go on Eweb pass, its a super cool thing rto be on because its easy shit man! Anyway, Wasted Ticket will be playing in TCs night club, wick in 2 weeks time. We will be playing with the Rebelz and some band from inverness, i am lookng forward to a good night! Hope all will be in attendance to support the boys?!
i reckon that beside my good mates Dave and Lars, Animal has gotta be the coolest guy ever. i mean, what a dude, i mean hes gotta be cooler than drumming santa thats further down the page! |
Well Hung Donkey Boy Ian, Master of the Universe!
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| bo0op
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Yo yo yo people! Ian is here. woo0oo0! Wasted Ticket played on friday, those who were there, thanks for support you gave, people who werent but were invited to susans party, fuck you, i hope you all die a painful and firey death you sad fucking morons, that pretty much just applies to duffy! :-P Not updated in ages, shocking really. Since my last update, i have grown hair in some pretty strange places, its crazy man! Hopefully scollay will be looking at this from his work place and will make another update to his site in response! Just having a look through my limited picture reserve on my computer here at work, think ill have to have a look about. You really do get some m0ngs online with you, and whats more the shitty phone systems that BT have piss me off something cronic! grrrrr!! |
BIG FAT SANTA IAN
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| MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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I WILL NOT BE OUT DONE BY MICHAEL! :-P
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BIG FAT SANTA IAN
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| Well lads and Ladies
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gah, this has to have been the longest week in the history of man! Im tappin out here! nevermind, its nearly christmas. So i decided to get all christmassy and stick some santa related picture on. I debated for hours, hummed and hawed and then decided to give the drum playing santa the job. enjoy!
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Cowie
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| No Lunch
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Alrite everyone, how are we? I was denied a lunch today, it was horrible. Remember poofy wills army needs you!
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Cowie
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| spurt
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Its that time again, Prom is looming, unfortuately i will not be atending because i dont go to school anyore as you well know, but i wanna go dammit! Prom party will be going ahead and there is much spectulation as to whether we will be allowed in, i personally suspect that we will not but dammit we must try :-) Christmas time, hope everyone has my present bought, im looking for big things from all the boys and then that thing the call Tattie, hidious beast! Gotta go for my lunch now, tata! |
Cowie
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| whoopa
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YAwn boredom! Im doing extra hours at work and its piss! I cant wait for the boys to arrive tonight and tomorrow, there is gonna be some major sessions over the next few weeks with many bobby dazzler! Clutch on my car is fuck*d practically so good k606ess is gonna be off the road again in the coming weeks but fear not, the noise on wheels will be back before new year because im going to demand it from my mechanics!! Lindas party to night, i can only speculate about the scandal and i just cant wait!! :-) until next week, seeeeeeeya! |
Cowie
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| Thursday Dec 12th 15:11am
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Think i better start buying christmas prezzies :-( Bye natalie, have fun in Hong Kong and then the Pentland, thanks for the cool pictures by the way :-) |
Cowie
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| Wednesday Dec 11th 10:45am
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Just found this and thought i should just stick it up there for all to see. Enjoy |
Cowie
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| Bobby Dazzler!!
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I have just returned from Edinburgh fresh with pictures of our monster nights out, they are coming soon! The man they call bobby dazzler reigns supreme as chief drink, people to have fallen victim to its wrath are MiKE, Graeme, Duncan, John (about a million times), Me, Duffy and Adam took ot really badly and hickery dock. My supervisor at work took it tuff too but still put up a good fight. Tattie too and kevin and Pigeon split one between them and they enjoyed there nights too let me tell you. We even made a variation on a theme and put 2 bobby dazzlers in a pint glass and topped it up with lemonade and played the double click game, famed from Kirsteens living room :-) Also Mint flipz were doing it for the boys with the 9 in one night sending me and my shits completely west for about 3 weeks :-/ im still tapping out :-( I am now trained in how to make mint flipz with precision so look out for them in a bar near you (namely carters). Back due to popular demand is this bad boy, enjoy, Ian xxxxxxxxx |
Cowie
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